Gremlins vs. Die Hard

Hoyt Axtin obtains a mogwai that comes with three rules.  He gives it to his son who doesn't hesitate to break all of them.  Zack Galliger and Phoebe Cates star in Gremlins.  Then Bruce Willis crawls through air ducts and broken glass just to find true love in Die Hard.  It's two underrated holiday classics squaring off today.

Return of the Killer Tomatoes vs. Burn After Reading

A mad scientist creates tomatoes that turn into people with the sound of certain songs.  This could reignite the tomato war from ten years ago.  George Clooney stars in Return of the Killer Tomatoes.  Then a lot of stupid people do stupid things the Coen Brothers film Burn After Reading.  It's a George Clooney tour de force.

Shakes the Clown vs. Death to Smoochy

An alcoholic clown (Bobcat Goldwaith) learns a valuable lesson about drinking too much on the job and not beating up mimes en route to rescuing his girlfriend (Julie Brown) from a cocaine addled children program host (Tom Kenny) in Shakes the Clown.  Then a host of a children's program (Robin Williams) vows to kill his squeaky clean replacement (Edward Norton), but might be beaten to the punch by the mob, a network executive, or many other dangers in the dark comedy Death to Smoochy.  Only one R-rated demented children show starring Robin Williams can come out victorious.

Highlander 2 vs. The Prophecy 2

Today we pit Virginia Madison sequels against each other.  Highlander 2 is the tale of immortals that can only die by getting their heads chopped off doing battle again.  But this time they're aliens, coming back to life, and fighting under a sky roof.  Never mind, it's complicated.  The Prophecy 2 has Christopher Walken reprising his role as Gabrielle, still determined to wipe humanity off of the Earth.

Revenge of the Green Dragons vs. The Blue Room vs. Dear White People

We break up the formula for one week.  Today Zac and Biggs offer reviews of three independent movies in theaters right now:  Revenge of the Green Dragons, The Blue Room, and Dear White People.

Jersey Girl vs. Zack and Miri

This week we have two under-appreciated films of Kevin Smith.  Ben Affleck loses his wife, and has to raise his daughter with only the help of his father (George Carlin).  But perhaps the most difficult thing for him is to put aside his old life for the new one in Jersey Girl.  Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks play best friends who consummate their relationship while making a self produced internet video (you know the kind) in Zack and Miri.  

This Is 40 vs. Defending Your Life

Today we explore two films starring the immortal Albert Brooks.  This is 40 is the story of...well...being 40.  Defending Your Life is about people dying and trying to move further into the afterlife through a courtroom setting.  Both are funny.  Both have wry observation.  Only one will make it to the mountain top.

Pirate Radio and Radioland Murders

The BBC has strict rules about playing rock and roll on the air so a group of DJs broadcast rock from a pirate ship in:  Pirate Radio.  A voice cuts into the first broadcast of WBN , and cast members wind up dead in the comedy/mystery movie:  Radioland Murders.  Only one will survive.

Double Dragon vs. Super Mario Brothers

Two video game movies from the nineties face off today.  Double Dragon takes place in New Angelos in the future year of 2007.  The Lee Brothers take battle against the Shadow Demon (Robert Patrick) with help from their friend Marion (Alyssa Milano).  Super Mario Brothers is the story of two different brothers (Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo) try to save a princess from King Koopa (Dennis Hopper) and other dinosaurs.

Highlander vs. Mortal Kombat

It's a Lambert-off.  First, Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, and Clancy Brown are immortals killing each other until their is only one left because...well...there can only be one.  From the bowels of the eighties comes Highlander.  Next, Christopher Lambert plays Rayden, a God who decides that maybe mankind being annihilated is a bad idea.  So he sponsors man in a fighting tournament based off of an arcade game.  Even gods have to get inspiration from somewhere.

Finding Forrester vs. Real Genius

We're pitting young geniuses against each other tonight.  Finding Forrester is the tale of a reclusive author who's brought out of his shell by an inner city youth who also has a gift with words.  Real Genius is the Val Kilmer vehicle about college kids who unknowingly make a weapon for the government...and undermine it with wackiness.

Batman Forever vs. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Val Kilmer gets a double header.  Batman Forever is the story of a...well come on.  You already know.  Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is the tale of a private detective joining up with another PI for adventures and stuff.  Just listen.  I'm tired of typing.

Enemy Mine vs. Attack the Block

It's an alien theme tonight.  Enemy Mine is the story of a human and a Drack who find friendship despite trying to murder each other multiple times.  Attack the Block is a story about humans who murder aliens and never find friendship with each other.  Shit's about to get real uncomfortable.

Big Fish vs Velvet Goldmine

A son (Ewan McGregor) goes to find out how authentic his father's tall tale is in the Tim Burton film:  Big Fish.  Ewan McGregor stars with Christian Bale in the glam rock love letter:  Velvet Goldmine.  In the end their can Obiwan.

Apocalypse Now vs Red Dawn (1984) vs Flight of the Intruder

We battle out another three way, this time with the movies of John Milius.  First the Milius written bomb which has since made up it's money and become a classic:  Apocalypse Now.  Then the Wolverines battle the red army in Colorado in:  Red Dawn (the original).  Finally, a forgotten Vietnam film starring Danny Glover and Willam Dafoe:  Flight of the Intruder.

Big Trouble in Little China vs The Thing vs Miracle

Today:  a Kurt Russell-off!  First a trucker (Russell) and Kim Catrall fights wizards and creatures in the "classic" Big Trouble in Little China.  Then a group of scientists in Antartica (Russell, Wilford Brimley, Keith David, and others) battle a shape-shifting alien and paranoia in The Thing.  Finally Kurt Russell coaches the 1980 USA hockey team in the biopic about The Miracle on Ice--Miracle.  Aaron Donaldson guest stars as our judge.

Any Which Way You Can vs Following

A bare knuckled brawler (Clint Eastwood) fights in a championship of sorts.  It catches the kind of attention from Nazi gangs and the Jersey mob that you don't want.  Clyde the orangutan also stars in Any Which Way You Can.  It's opponet is about an author who follows a thief and winds up learning the ropes from him.  But he learns harsher lessons in the process.  Christopher Nolan's first movie:  Following.

Dr. Strange vs The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

This week we cover two movies which clearly don't use their comic book source material at all.  Dr. Strange is the story of a doctor at a psych ward who learns to become a sorcerer.  The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is about several literary characters (Allan Quartermain, The Invisible Man, and Tom Sawyer) who team up to fight evil.  Only one awful, awful movie will mount Valhalla.

Predator 2 vs. Brain Dead

This Bill Paxton themed episode of the podcast stars Danny Glover as a police chief who is tracking down an alien in the jungle of Los Angelos in the future year of 1997.  He discovers the first cinematic tie-ins to AVP, as well as the fact that he's too old for this shit.  That's right...1990's Predator 2.  Also, Bill Pullman stars along side Bill Paxton in a trippy Roger Corman movie about two brain surgeons.  One is employed by a wealthy corporation, the other lives off of grants.  But what happens when they team up and one of them begins to lose his grip on reality?  Brain Dead is what happens.  No matter who wins, Bill Paxton loses...or wins...I guess.

Leaves of Grass vs. The Frighteners

Leaves of Grass features Edward Norton playing duel roles:  one is college professor estranged from his family.  The other is a pot dealer.  Things don't go well.  In the other corner is Peter Jackson's The Frighteners.  Michael J. Fox plays a psychic who must stop a serial killer from beyond the grave.  Only one movie will perch atop Valhalla.

Envy vs. Saving Silverman

Jack Black strikes it rich with his new product Vapoorizer.  His best friend and neighbor Ben Stiller goes crazy with jealousy in the movie Envy.  Jack Black and Steve Zahn kidnap Amanda Peet in order to help their friend, Jason Biggs, find the right woman in  Saving Silverman.  Either way Jack Black will be victorious.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Vs. The Replacements

Keanu Reeves mans a football team filled with scabs to get through a strike affected football season in The Replacements.  Johnny Depp and Benacio Del Toro mourn the end of an era by going on a drug fueled adventure in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.  As usual, there can be only one.

How High vs. Stealing Harvard

Method Man and Red Man smoke a lot of weed and shake up Harvard in How High.  Jason Lee and Tom Green commit multiple crimes and escape prison in Stealing Harvard.  Only one Ivy League graduate will come out victorious.

Disorganized Crime vs. The Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy

Ed O'Neil, Lou Diamond Philips, Fred Gwinn, Corbin Bernson, and Hoyt Axton star in a Disorganized Crime.  This bomb covers a group of bank robbers trying to get a big score while staying one step ahead of Montana police and the FBI.  Brain Candy is sketch comedy starring The Kids in the Hall that weaves sketches into a central story about a new pill that unlocks peoples happiest memories.  Only one film will make it to the top of the Philadelphia Art Museum to shadow box.

The Slaughter Rule vs. They Live

This week's podcast has a special guest judge:  Sentient Rotten Tomatoes!  Zac reviews The Slaughter Rule.  It's an independent film about a teenager (Ryan Gosling) who plays six man football and deals with drama on and off the field.  They Live is a John Carpenter directed movie that pays homage to fifties sci-fi films.  Roddy Rod Piper and Keith David play two men who put on special sunglasses that show the world is run by aliens who control humanity through subliminal messages.  As always, their can be only one.

The Fantastic Four (1994) vs. Army of Darkness

We review Roger Corman's 1994 version of The Fantastic Four.  Find out what happens when a production company is given 1.5 million dollars to make a superhero movie that they don't want anyone to see.  In the other corner we have the Sam Raimi cult classic:  Bruce Campbell vs. The Army of Darkness.  A man from the future lands in medieval times and trades in his chainsaw arm for a cybernetic fist.  Along the way he learns bravery, how to love, and how to make ammunition all while fighting evil demonoid creatures.  In the end...there can be only one.

Hot Rod Vs. Southland Tales

Hot Rod is the tale of a wannabe stuntman (Andy Samberg) who tries to raise enough money through stunt work to pay for an operation for his stepfather (Ian McShane) so that he can kick his ass.  Southland Tales is the complicated movie starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Sarah Michelle Gellar that tells of the end of the world. There can be only one.

Captain America (1990) Vs. Skatetown, USA

Welcome to the podcast where we take apart two movies, debate them, and grade them to see which will be redeemed.  Today we dust off the underrated film from 1990: Captain America. It starred Matt Salinger as Steve Rogers, Scott Paulin as the Italian Red Skull, and Ned Beatty  It never saw the light of day in US theaters, and was a dusty VHS tape passed around at Comic Cons until recent history.  We also review the forgotten roller disco movie:  Skatetown, USA.  Patrick Swayze, in his first role, plays a street tough who "owns" the roller disco.  Scott Baio, Flip Wilson, and Dorothy Stratten also star in this movie which is a series of comedy vinettes, roller disco dance numbers, and band performances.  It has never been legally released on home video in any format.